


Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

by Sonny_The_Kid



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, HIV/AIDS, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2019-10-29 15:15:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17810420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonny_The_Kid/pseuds/Sonny_The_Kid
Summary: Brian didn't take Freddie's death so well





	1. Chapter 1

Seeing Freddie on the bed made Brian cringe. He couldn't bare to see the lifeless body. That was his best friend. The vocalist in his band. Freddie Mercury. Tears ran down the guitarist's face. Brian went home before Deacy and Roger. The poor guy couldn't take the feeling any longer.

As Brian made his way home and down to his room, he shut his door and just sat on his bed. Freddie was really gone and there was nothing he could do. No way to fix it or anything. Brian broke into a sob. He was a mess then, and he wanted to get it all out before, God forbid, anyone else saw him like this. _Was there something I could've done while Freddie was alive? Did I fail Freddie?_ Those nasty thoughts appeared in Brian's head. Unfortunately, he didn't know what, but he knew there was something he could've done. Something to not fail Freddie. Brian needed to apologize, but he couldn't. Freddie was now gone. Brian had a wild idea.

He was the one who deserved to die, not Freddie.


	2. The Plan

As Brian had this thought, he decided the he was going to make himself die so he could get what he deserved. His mind raced with ideas. Overdose. Hanging or stabbing himself. Drinking bleach. Brian couldn't help but smile, but this wasn't your average happy smile. It was a twisted, depressed, "I'm finally getting what I deserve" smile. Unfortunately, he couldn't do all those things to himself yet. He had Roger and John to comfort.  
Brian sighed. He had to do something. Something so God would know Brian was trying to get what he deserves. He pulled his sleeve up.  
Bloody cuts appeared on his wrist. The red liquid poured from his arms as Brian laughed to himself. This was what Brian gets for failing his best friend. He felt he deserved every slash on his arm.  
Brian heard a knock on his bedroom door. John Deacon walked in..  
-  
The bassist's eyes widened as he saw his best friend bleeding. He immediately went to see what was wrong but noticed Brian was holding a bloody knife. John immediately knew what was wrong. He tried to take the knife from Brian, but Brian resisted. The two started yelling at each other  
"You don't have to do this!"  
"Yes I do!"  
"You shouldn't hurt yourself!"  
"I should!"  
"You have things to live for!"  
"No I don't!"  
"What the fuck are Roger and I to you then?!"  
John saw tears well up in Brian's eyes as the guitarist began to tremble  
"N... No I'm sorry don't cry please-" John tried to comfort Brian. Brian just sighed "I'm the one who should be sorry.."  
John finally took the knife  
"Brian... Why did you do this?"  
Brian reluctantly answered "I... I feel bad for everything. Freddie and my Dad just died at the same time and my wife just left and I'm just a mess... I'm sorry for bringing you into this."  
John hugged Brian. Brian hugged back, trying not to get blood on John.  
The two stayed like this for a while.


	3. The news

After a few minutes of comforting a shaking Brian, John thought to himself.  
What should he do from here? Should he keep trying to protect Brian? Should he tell Roger since Roger was closer with Brian? These questions lingered in John's head, even after he had pulled away and went to bandage Brian's wounds. He had no idea how he would break the news to Roger. He tried to recite it to himself once he was alone.  
"Roger, we need to watch Brian now. He's been cutting."  
That's too blunt  
"Brian's been hurting himself."  
Still too blunt.  
"Brian's not doing well and we should make sure he doesn't do anything dumb."  
Too late for that.  
"Roger, Brian really needs your help right now. He's been cutting himself and-" A door opened. Baby blue eyes stared into John's as Roger walked in.


End file.
